Category Archives: Awkward

How do you get 5 stars?

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When you drop your phone..

Also when it doesn’t land in the toilet. … just sayin’.35ba26c12b445420958643c695556217

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The burglar and the parrot

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’

burglarHe nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight Off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so He could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard ‘Jesus is watching you.’

Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.

‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’

The burglar relaxed.. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?’

‘Moses,’ replied the bird.

‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’

‘The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’

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Californians try Missouri food for the first time

I’m a Missouri girl through and through – this gave me several good chuckles! Hope you enjoy it!

 

Even your coffee is surprised

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This is what keeps me up at night

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Not trusting anyone today

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Twerking Fail, Reaction Win

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Panicorama

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Springtime Allergy Invention

I need this pronto!

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