Monthly Archives: April 2015
The burglar and the parrot
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight Off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so He could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard ‘Jesus is watching you.’
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.
‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’
The burglar relaxed.. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?’
‘Moses,’ replied the bird.
‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’
‘The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’
Californians try Missouri food for the first time
I’m a Missouri girl through and through – this gave me several good chuckles! Hope you enjoy it!
It’s April, Fool!
Check out these pranks:
1. This one’s for diabolical parents: When the kids are sound asleep, switch them to each other’s beds. Just make sure you’re there to see their reactions when they wake up!
2. Change your victim’s cell phone settings from English to another language.
3. Replace the cream filling of Oreos with toothpaste, then invite your target for a snack.
4. Add a few drops of food coloring to the bottom of a cereal bowl. When your target pours in milk, he’ll get a colorful surprise.
5. Sprinkle grape Kool-Aid mix inside the showerhead to turn the water—and your victim’s skin—purple.
Deep Fried Bits 